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“Sorry to bother you with this post, I just thought it would be an interesting topic to look over and relevant for your job role, but I understand if you don’t have time to read it.” 

Sound like you? As women, we tend to be a little too apologetic in our writing and less ‘to the point’, which is quite the opposite approach to our male counterparts. After @vivsmee’s TickTok post about “updating their email style to match their male colleagues”, it’s quite a hot topic. So what type of language should we be avoiding to write more confident emails?



Sorry, not sorry!

First of all, get rid of those unnecessary apologies. 99% of the time, what you are requesting is perfectly reasonable and usually a part of the receiver’s job role, so what are you apologizing for?


When you are certain about something, show that in your writing. Words like “I think” can weaken your point.

Kisses and smileys

It goes without saying that in a professional email “xx” to sign off is not going to win you any serious points, and although a smiley might make your email seem less abrupt, in reality, there is nothing abrupt about a request without a smiley.

Calm down on the exclamation marks!

Although exclamation points are sometimes used to express anger, they can also be used to express enthusiasm, but perhaps a bit too much. In a professional email, you might want to avoid using them too often when you are showing that “you’re totally on board with the plan!!!!!!

Unfortunately, all these traits are more commonly used by women, as generally speaking, women are more concerned about offending the reader or coming across as rude, and men tend to care less about what other people think (again we’re zooming in on the stereotypes here). Perhaps a little can be adopted from both sides, but really, the point here is to stop apologizing, use confident vocabulary and write more confident emails. If you hate writing emails altogether, you can find some great tips in our blog “Email Writing Tips For Those Who Hate Writing“.

Best comments from the post

sushi “I wanna do this but it feels so mean”

Karrisa JervisThis is the most relatable content ever.”

vicThis tik tok has inspired me ever since I first saw it, my emails are now 👍🏽👍🏽”

Ben Tigyer “I don’t see how the second is mean. It is direct and professional. I find exclamation points in the email to be somewhat unprofessional.”

BambiI 100% put way too many exclamation marks in my emails! Like I’m a damn golden retriever! 😅”

KianaI started doing this too. It’s all about the confidence. ✨

Gloria from Modern Family GIF - confident emails

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